I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
