Got a toothbrush?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
