Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
