You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
