if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
