So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I believe in your delicious
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
