You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
