Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
