he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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