they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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