I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
