I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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