His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
