Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
