ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I need a burrito and a hug.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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