I can tuck mytits in my pants
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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