so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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