WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
where am i from again
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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