This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
