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I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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