I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
