I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
