so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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