I heard we made out
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
