Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
