32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
