Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
