STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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