Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
