so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Your dad touched me again.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
