He is an equal opportunity slut.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
