I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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