Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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