It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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