i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
