im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
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