i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
