i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Who died my cat blue again?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
