I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
ok first of all what the fuck
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
