I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
