Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
She told me I should be a condom model.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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