i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I just want to make out with him forever
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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