just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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