Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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