I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
