as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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