if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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