so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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