I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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