Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
