Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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