My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
