There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I love having hate sex.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
