Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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