dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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