It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
