dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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