I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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