ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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